ADOPTION- Give it a thought!!

Adoption is still an alien topic in our Indian society and has not found its commonplace as it should be till date. However eradicating the taboo around adoption, the B-town celebrities have time and again taken this unconventional path to motherhood and marked a bold step in bringing the required change in the society. Adoption comes with several myths which till date hold back many people to even discuss about it. So let’s break some of the myths related to the same and get the clearer and wider picture of this hush-hush word called Adoption.

B-town celebrities who have lead the path to adoption

Oprah Winfey once quoted, “Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother”. This statement has been proved correct by such B-town celebs over the years. Salim Khan adopted Arpita khan much before adoption was even discussed about and while talking about adoption one cannot miss Sushmita Sen and Raveena Tandon, who became the trendsetters as unmarried single parents by adopting a girl child at a very early age and peak time of their careers. Ace choreographer Sandip Soparrkar had to wait for long to prove himself as a responsible unmarried male single parent, to get the custody of his son. The latest in the league is none other than actor-turned-director Tannishtha Chatterjee, who recently joined the unmarried single parent club after adopting a girl child. What drew everybody’s attention in this adoption was the focus and clear perspective of Tannishtha on the age slot and the gender of the child to be adopted.

Adoption is a very personal issue and every perspective parent has their own respective reason to adopt. However such articles of adoption by celebrities has bought the topic in open and now people have started coming forward by accepting adoption as something which should not be a hidden subject anymore. In fact lots of couple going through infertility issues come to us at Fertility Dost for adoption counseling and are taking the required step in breaking this social taboo. There are few important points mentioned in Tannishtha Chatterjee’s interview post adoption which came into limelight and could be amongst the vital points while considering adoption. Three most important points which should be discussed and considered on a serious note include the following:

1. Adopt a girl child – No matter how much literate and advance we become but there are still majority of people in our Indian society who choose male child over female in the name of carrying forward their family name or to hold their head high in the society. But these celebrities have marked these notions wrong by adopting only the girl child. In fact CARA is quite supportive of single women and the whole process becomes faster if the lady is opting for a girl child. Being raised by such strong, independent and bold mothers, these girls will create a history and mark a new era of feminism in the coming times.

2. Opt for older age slot like 2-4years over 0-2 years– As per the adoption guidelines mentioned by government organizations, adoption gets much easier faster between the age slot of 2-4 but under the pressure of society and for unquestioned upbringing of the child; Indian parents go for 0-2 years of age slot. Without realizing the brighter side to it, the perspective parents choose new born or infants as they don’t want to face the questionnaire of society or the child itself. Older children are already trained in terms of feeding and other things, moreover they can adapt to the situations in much easier way if made understood in a proper manner. In case of parents having demanding careers, with infants they will have to compromise on their profession and work schedule where as with older kids this situation will subside as they will be already in their school or play way routine. However, this point should not be taken on a lighter note that children adopted in any age group require the same kind of love, affection, care, time and emotional support to adjust in their new life with new people whom they will be calling their family. It’s just that the time and effort varies a little or things become convenient with the older age group

3. It’s not child Shopping – Things have been much streamlined over the years, in case of adoption. It’s not like walking into a bunch of kids and choosing the best or as per your own requirements, which is in any case neither ethical nor fair. You can no more choose your kind of child. Now you can only suggest the age bracket and gender of the child you wish to adopt and you will be contacted for the same which sounds fair too. Even when someone’s biological child is born, parents don’t know how their child will turn out but still they accept the child whole heartedly in all the circumstances then why any such criteria or demand in case of adoption. As a parent when you are sure to up bring your biological child in an upright manner, same can be done with the adopted one as well. It is the upbringing which eventually matters.

As per the estimation of UNICEF, there are around 143 million orphans worldwide who need a home and a family. There are so many couples who spend quite a handsome amount of money on surrogacy, hi-tech infertility treatments, IVF and what not just to get a child of their own. Adoption can be given a thought too in such cases where both the child and the couple urging for one will get what they want. In any case, “Our child carries our genes” is a very patriarchal thought and “You don’t have to give birth to a child to become a mother”. The example of this statement was set in our culture long back as Lord Krishna was raised by Yashoda and till date is known as her son, instead of his biological mother Devaki. So why can’t the ladies of today’s era do the same. If you are privileged enough to take care of a child and want to do it, then please add to the social cause and adopt, as there are so many abandoned children in our country. This one step can give the child a nice home and couples a genuine reason to smile and be busy with.

Adoption is a two way process, where the child adopts the parent and can bring so much love, more happiness and meaning to their lives!!