I Didn’t Miss My Periods, Again
Infertility, Natural Conception
“Not Again”: The Thoughts of a Woman Trying to Get Pregnant
Missing periods is the most joyful event for a woman who has been trying to conceive. However, the more you wish to miss the periods, the more stubbornly it keeps coming back every month.
When you are planning a baby, you diligently try to have sex for that sacred period of 10 days often at the irritation and angst of the husband because when you are told to have sex it ceases to be fun. Add to it the hectic and stressful cosmopolitan life. Your husband has an important meeting at office and you keep messaging him to come back home. Your romantic wait transforms into frustration and you two end up having a fight, shooting the stress level and missing the ovulation date.
Yet you try every arrow in your quiver to coax, cajole and seduce him. And then wait desperately, ticking off each day on the calendar praying that you miss your periods. You keep the self-help pregnancy test kit ready but hidden somewhere beneath your clothes in the closet because you don’t want to jinx it.
Then you get those very well known lower abdomen pain and you try to ward off bad thoughts by convincing that you exercised harder today or you ate something and it is just a gas issue.
But how long can you run from the truth. You get your periods.
You feel depressed, lost and yet another month of your precious biological calendar is wasted. You don’t have the strength to follow the same rig next month all over again. You can’t maintain a fake enthusiasm.
Your husband feels your depression is regular PMS. And, even if you muster all your strength to try and explain him looking for some compassion, pat comes the reply, “Don’t worry we will try again next month”and the conversation ends with a period. Here, you don’t need a period, you just needed a shoulder.
But, the pertinent question is from where you will bring back the strength, the hope, and the enthusiasm, again.
It is tough, very tough but you are a strong woman and you will fight back again with grit and a smile.
Infertility is a tough battle and hats off to all of you who are fighting it, silently every day and every moment of your life.
I just wish the society was a little less judgmental and I wasn’t made to believe throughout my days of upbringing that my only job was to be a good wife – the parameters of which starts with being able to procreate.
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