It Started With My Delayed Periods

This is the heart wrenching story of a couple from our premium group, who is going through the journey of infertility to parenthood. Their journey starts from absorbing the shock of being infertile due to low AMH levels to embryo implantation failure, embryo getting arrested, and failed IVF with Donor eggs. Also, the whopping amount that they had to spend on their 4 failed IVF attempts while struggling hard to manage their emotional breakdowns.

The Beginning

It was in 2018. For the first time ever, my periods got delayed by 2.5 months. Initially I was excited thinking I might have conceived! But my pregnancy test never showed me those 2 pink lines. Little did I know that I was about to enter the toughest journey of my life – “The TTC Journey” (Trying To Conceive)

I am from Pune, Maharashtra, 30 years old. I am a financial advisor married to a business man in the year 2016. My married life is blissful as I found my soulmate, my best friend and my confidant in my husband. We were both enjoying our married life until the day we decided to become parents two years after marriage. After my periods got delayed, we decided to consult a local gynae doctor and on checking my sonography reports he said that I had PCOD and prescribed me 3 months of medication.

But My Reports Mentioned The Word Fibroids

When I saw my reports, it did mentioned Fibroids. But since it was my first ever visit to a gynae doctor I had no idea what fibroid meant and didn’t pay any attention towards it. Was midway in completing the medicines that I started to think about doctor not mentioning anything about fibroids and due to this unsure feeling, I decided to consult a proper Infertility Specialist.

I Found The Top & The Best Infertility Specialist

Upon doing a solid research on best infertility specialist doctors available near my city, I did find him! He was, and is still the most famous and celebrated infertility specialist doctor. We were happy to book an appointment with him. I finally felt assured.

When doctor saw my last sonography report, his eyes popped up. He corrected, “It is not PCOD but Fibroids!”.

Further, the ultrasound report gave us clarity that the fibroids were located on my ovaries and outside uterus. Hence, I did a Myomectomy fibroid surgery via laparoscopy and thereafter had a short time menopause. After 6-7 months I got my periods and on second day of my periods some tests like PGT test, semen analysis and Anti-Mullerian Hormone test (AMH) were performed and we got the first shocking news,

We were declared infertile and the only hope was IVF Treatment because my AMH was 0.28

Emotional Breakdown

We couldn’t absorb this news. My hands were shaking, my mind not ready to accept of what the doctor just said. How is that even possible? I have been healthy my whole life. My partner never had any medical issues either. Every other woman can conceive naturally and have healthy babies, so why am I supposed to choose this?

But my husband said, “Its ok, If IVF can help us, then let it be through IVF. We will have our baby soon.

My IVF Journey Started In 2019

We continued our treatment with the same doctor as I trusted him. Obviously, he is the best in my city and doubting him was no chance! We never did any prior research on IVF procedure nor consulted any expert for second opinion.

1^st IVF Attempt

Day 2 of periods – Follicles were tested, Ultrasound was done, I was on medications and stimulation. After 4th day of my periods, I was called back-to-back for 3 days to get ultrasound done.

My doctor spoke very less. He never felt the need to explain what is being done and for what purpose. Neither I had courage to ask him. But when I kept visiting his clinic daily, Finally I asked him, “What is follicle?”.

In few words he said, “It carries your egg”. Further he revealed that he got only four follicles, out of which two are of bad quality.

And on 11^th day from my periods, doctor gave me trigger shot. 12^th day I had my egg retrieval with just one follicle and later given progesterone.

Finally, the day of my Embryo Transfer (ET) arrived. I was anxious and hell nervous. Out of excitement we reached clinic before time only to be told that, “Embryo Transfer is not possible today. Please come next month on day 2 of your periods”. I went numb!

We left home disheartened. By now, my mind fuming with numerous questions. I couldn’t sleep the whole night thinking what went wrong? The next day, with swollen eyes I decided to visit doctor again and ask him for explanation. To which he said, “Your AMH is too low and also the quality of egg is poor. Its better if you choose Donor Eggs”. My heart sank!

Cost – Rs. 2.50 Lakhs

The Rise Of Trust Issues With My IVF Doctor

For the first time, I doubted the reputation of the doctor. My trust on him started to shake. It strikes to me, if doctor knew that my egg is of poor quality then why did he even began the procedure with just one follicle? Did he already know it will be a failure? Why didn’t he waited to collect good number of follicles? As I started to doubt his intensions and creditability, I decided to change my doctor for good.

This costed me – Rs. 2.00 Lakhs (No fees were charged on failed Embryo Transfer)

New IVF Doctor And New Perspective

Jan 2021, I started my IVF procedure under new doctor, who is also a well-known Infertility Specialist. He suggested us 3 options based on our patience level.

1. For quick results – Donor Egg IVF

2. If we have patience, then egg retrieval for 5-6 cycles (that will take 7 to 8 months) or

3. Keep trying for natural conception for another 1 year.

Doctors know this trick; Time is crucial for infertility couples. And so, obviously we opted for immediate results, ‘Donor Egg IVF’.

2^nd IVF Attempt

Jan 27^th, 2021 my medication started. On day 2 of periods, Estrogen was given to me. Feb 6^th was my first transfer of Day 3 embryo. After 15 days, I did my Beta HCG (A blood test that confirms pregnancy), first time it was 18 unit. After 2 days it was only 5 unit. As the unit kept decreasing, it was declared as a failed attempt. I was shattered but didn’t have time to grieve.

Cost – Rs. 2.30 Lakhs

3^rd IVF Attempt

The desperation to have my baby was so strong that I immediately went for next attempt. This time doctor decided for day 5 transfer. He said everything is going well, we have one good quality Day 5 embryo and endometrium lining is also good. Knowing this, I was happy but nervous at the same time. On march 13^th we were waiting for the ET (Embryo Transfer) process to start. After waiting for about 5-6 hours, one assistant doctor comes to us and says, “Sorry beta, aaj ET nai ho sakta kyuki aapka embryo arrest hogaya hain”. (Translation – Sorry dear, Embryo Transfer is not possible today as your embryo got arrested).

It was traumatizing, how is it possible? What went wrong? Because of my poor egg quality, I had failed IVF, but through Donor egg also it’s the same! Did you check the quality of donor egg? My endometrium lining was 9mm, so what exactly went wrong?  This time I was more aware than before, more informed about my situation and so was confident to question the Doctor.

Doctor consoled saying, “It happens sometimes. Don’t worry, your next cycle will give good results”

Cost – Rs. 50,000 because ET couldn’t happen

4^th IVF Attempt

By now, I am mentally, physically, emotionally and financial broken into pieces. But the mother inside me didn’t want to stop. Without taking any break I did my next IVF cycle. April 1^st was my ET. April 15^th was Beta HCG, got photo of my embryo. With my fingers crossed, I holed the picture and saw that its, Negative!!!

I was finished! I gave my everything! More than food, I ate medicines. More than me, I thought about my baby. More than family functions, I visited clinics. More than God, I prayed to Doctors… What more can I do?

My husband asked the Doctor, ‘What Happened this time?’

Doctor said, “I am also shocked. Everything went well. It is purely your bad luck, Try next cycle.”

I could barely sense anything around me…The old me, who was fragile, sensitive and emotional was already dead. The new me – Broken but stronger, bolder, curious and mature than before was born. This new me, wanted to finally grieve and heal.

I decided to take 3 months break.

Cost – Rs. 4.50 Lakhs

The Journey Of Self – Love

While I took break, I started to love myself more, to appreciate the unconditional love and support from my Husband, to plan for a better and healthier future. And fortunately, I came to know about Fertility Dost. I joined the Fertility Yoga and Nutrition Diet, the emotional counselling from the Fertility Dost team helped me to heal and also made me aware of the red flags that went unnoticed in entire attempts.

1. Why didn’t the doctor check the AMH Levels before the ovarian surgery? I could have done “Egg Freezing”.

2. Why I never asked questions on the procedure of IVF Treatment?

3. Never trust a Doctor blindly. Do your research.

The Breaking News

After knowing all the red flags, I decided to find answers of my own questions. I discussed with 3 other infertility specialist doctors about my journey and showed each one of them the picture of my last Embryo. Trust me when I say, they were all not happy with the quality of Embryo. One of them even claimed that the embryo was already arrested before ET!

I want to ask, if top doctors can do such ill practices whom should we trust?

Is it my fault that now I might not trust a genuine advice from a good doctor?

Nevertheless, Today I am in a good mental state. Thanks to Fertility Dost, I am taking informed decisions, improving my lifestyle, focusing on my fertility health and connecting with women going through same journey. I wish, I got this guidance long back when I started this journey!

Dear Reader, please send your Baby Dust wishes to this beautiful couple in the comment box below. Your comments might bring positivity and encouragement to them in such hard times.  It’s a saying that, Good wishes with good intentions do come true.

And if you are also struggling to find a right doctor? Feel lost in this infertility journey and need a friend on whom you can lean and ask wise suggestion? Then please connect with us, our team of experts and doctors will help you sail smooth in this rough journey.