Overcoming A Miscarriage : The Role Of Community Support

Just as pointed out by the Duchess, Meghan Markle, Miscarriages are so very common and the biggest issue surrounding it is the inability to have open conversations about it and the lack of safe and friendly support systems for women. The sad truth is despite how common it is, most women are forced to suffer in silence and alone with no one to talk to or share their grief with. Losing a child is perhaps one of the most unbearable forms of grief for any woman and the lack of awareness and information on the subject has made it a lot more difficult for women to express their feelings.  We at Fertility Dost understand the importance of a nurturing and supporting system and have helped bring together women from different walks together to form several such support systems as an initiative by women, for women.

Miscarriages Are More Common Than We Know

A miscarriage is the spontaneous loss of the fetus due to certain internal or external factors that prevents it from developing normally. It is one of the hardest hurdles for a woman to go through. It is estimated that over 1 out of every 4 pregnancies end in a miscarriage with 8% of it occurring in the first trimester. Self-blame among women for miscarriage and internalized shame is a very common practice that stems from the lack of dialogue regarding the subject. In almost all cases, miscarriages cannot be prevented and occur due to genetic defaults. Apart from this, the lack of awareness on the subject has led to the rise of several myths that indirectly contribute to these self-blame tendencies among women.

Can You Conceive After A Miscarriage?

As already discussed, miscarriages are very common. That being said, several myths exist and one of the major ones being that you will not be able to conceive successfully in the future. Identifying miscarriage signs is important and for that consultation with a doctor is necessary. Miscarriage symptoms may vary, although bleeding is seen and recognized as a sign, in many cases bleeding is normal.  This is a myth. Even if you suffer from a miscarriage you will very well be able to conceive. Talk to your doctor and figure out what changes you can follow the next time you plan. Another common myth is wearing heels or other types of shoes can cause miscarriage. This is yet again absolutely false. There is no research to prove any link between wearing heels and miscarriages. The only substance to this is that further into a pregnancy, a woman might experience some discomfort while wearing heels.

Yet another widespread myth is that multiple miscarriages are an indicator that you are infertile. This is completely false. Most women who miscarry will only have to go through it once or twice but studies have shown that the number of miscarriages you have has no bearing on your fertility.

“I didn’t know how common miscarriages were because we don’t talk about them. We sit in our pain, thinking that somehow we’re broken.”

                 –   Michelle Obama

Processing Grief Is A Part Of Emotional Wellness

In our society, women are often expected to carry on their duties all the time without any disruption. A miscarriage can be a huge event to cope with and it is completely okay for you to not be okay. Your primary focus should be on recovering and healing from the trauma, working on your physical and mental health, and taking time out for yourself. Miscarriage causes a great deal of pain and trauma to any woman, Grief is a normal and healthy part of overcoming a miscarriage and you must allow yourself to process your feelings and grief. Convincing yourself that this was not your fault and accepting the truth will help you overcome this difficult time a lot easier. Give yourself ample time to accept and adapt to the situation at hand.

Community Support Is Important

The essay of Duchess Meghan Markle sparked a very important discussion on the need to have open discussions and provide support during difficult times. Going through a  miscarriage can be extremely draining, both emotionally and physically but it is important to understand that you are not alone in this. There exist several support groups for women who are dealing with similar issues, reach out to such groups and allow yourself to share the grief as this will help you overcome this difficulty a lot easier and help you healthily process the grief. You can always reach out to a trusted figure such as a friend or family to help you get through this difficult time. Emotional support can go a long way in allowing you to heal and recover. Community support can help normalize grief and remove stigma including self-blame.

What To Do After A Miscarriage?

A miscarriage can seem like the end of everything and can result in an overwhelming feeling of helplessness, but it is very important to understand that this is not the end. Women who have miscarried have gone on to start a healthy and happy family. The steps to recovery include overcoming miscarriage signs. A couple of steps that you could follow to help you process your feelings include:

• Caring for your Mental Health:  Following a miscarriage, we need to deal with the emotions and try and manage stress to prevent anxiety. Studies have shown that one of the most common feelings is anxiety around trying to get pregnant again. Talking to loved ones or reaching out for help, even professional help is the most important step towards moving forward. Talking about your grief will allow you to get closure and process your feelings allowing you to move forward. Depression or increased anxiety around this period is completely normal and with some assistance, you will be in a better place to care for yourself.
• Caring for your physical health: Your body undergoes quite a change after a miscarriage. Increased pains, weakness, tiredness, and bleeding is normal. Talk to your doctor to analyze your body’s condition and to make sure you are physically alright. If necessary, take the required medications as prescribed by your doctor. Work on providing your body with all the necessary nutrients by consuming proper and healthy meals. A little physical exercise in the form of Yoga can also help your body both physically and mentally.
• Think about the future, one step at a time: After a miscarriage, your mind may work on overdrive. It is essential to first allow your body and mind ample time to heal before planning for the future. After you feel that you are in a better place both mentally and physically, you and your partner can begin to plan for the future and take the necessary steps. Consult your doctor to help identify a plan for you to follow. Remember that the past should not have a bearing on your future.

Time is perhaps one of the best medications. With time your body and mind will process what happened and you will be in a better place to move forward. A positive mind and a healthy body go a long way in helping you determine the future course of action.

At Fertility Dost, we understand how difficult a miscarriage can be and are committed to supporting women. Our community support consists of hundreds of women across the globe who help form a safe and nurturing environment and support system. Do you wish to know more about our community? Contact us now.